Since I became a student again, I've been noticing some things about the learning process. I decided they were worth writing not only for you to read but for me to return to just in case I find myself in Chinese or Arabic language school in a few years. (Please, God - no.)
When I began classes in January the learning came relatively quickly and easily. I think this is partly because I had a little headstart (I already knew the alphabet, basic pronunciation and a few words.) I also believe that the newness of it all helped; it was exciting. It didn't hurt that our vocabulary lists were apx. 75 words per week whereas today we are looking at 120 or so plus many, many phrases. After a while (an hour?, I don't know.) it got more difficult. Words started to resemble each other - not just in their strangeness but in similarities and they were difficult to keep straight in my mind. They still are. Now I'm learning more about prefixes and suffixes and can pull the words apart to know them better.
It's just another rollercoaster I guess. It's easy. It's difficult. It's easy. It's difficult.
The support we receive from the staff at the institute is inspirational. When you have something to learn it often feels like you are alone in your mind trying to get information to become clear and permanent. Every teacher and staff member in the Russian department cares about each and every student to the point that they will stop me in the hall on occasion and ask me what I'm working on and offer help. They do this randomly and on the spur of the moment. This is a strong reminder that I am not in this alone. They each love to teach and they love their native Russian language and this is apparent in their spirit. There is a lab where we do listening and computer exercises. Nikolai is in charge of the lab so he interacts with and is responsible for dozens of students, not just four or so like the teachers. Nikolai likes me and I like Nikolai. When I first asked him for help he asked me why I was so shy. He listened to me read my narrative, took it from me and made corrections, explained it then recorded it for me to listen to. This took about a half hour. Now, every time I'm in the lab he comes up to me to see how I'm doing. He knows I'm a singer and storyteller so he's on the hunt for songs and stories for me. The teachers offer "walkie-talkies" during their "break" time. Apparently no one in this institute has a proper concdept of what a break is. The students sign up for a 50 minute chat with a native speaker (not your teacher). This gets you out of the classroom and is open to any topic, any level. I overheard one and signed up for one this Friday. The student stumbled through sentences and the teacher gently corrected.
I still believe that the load they present for us to learn is humanly impossible. Our new teacher (#3) said that this morning. It was strangely comforting. Instead of sitting back and thinking "Yeah, this is impossible" and worrying. I realized where her expectations lie and I am set to work as hard as I can to get everything even though I know I won't. I also remember the words of our first teacher who told us that we will always move ahead and we will always review. I also act like a teacher with myself. If I remember a word or figure one out I praise myself. When I find myself looking up a word for the 19th time this week (which happened this morning), I have a small day of reckoning. Either I give up on the word (brown, for instance - I will never know the Russian word for brown) or I say it and spell it ad nauseum the rest of the day.
Sometimes I just feel like I can't study any more. At least when I was in school we changed subjects every hour or so. I keep in mind the variety of study there is within the Russian language. Exercise time in the morning is devoted to vocabulary and short phrases. The bus ride to the institute is spent reviewing endings from flashcards. Both of these are easy to do amongst distraction. Hall time in the morning before class is spent either reading our current text or reciting my own narrative for the day. "Break" time is spent on assignments, lab and lunch. Right when I get home I dive into one of the big assignments - workbook pages, writing my own text, reading and translating new text etc. When Doug and I watch a television show, I keep my computer on with vocabulary drills and I run to it during commercials to work. When I know I need to work but just can't make myself I either take time off or look at the variety pool I have before me and pick one. There is usually something I can 'force' myself to do. Usually (thank you, God) after I start I really get into it and I make progress which feeds my energy to work. It's funny that way: the less I work and progress the less appealing the work is. Hmm . . . I think I'm on to something here.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The taboos
A post or two ago, I said that I believe that we need to learn how to discuss the taboo topics of politics and religion. Ooh, where to begin . . .
I guess the place to begin is to realize the importance of being able to discuss these hot-button, important, scary topics. War. That's why. People turn to violence and nations go to war over these issues. That's why we need to learn to discuss them with our neighbor, friends and our mother-in-law.
Why are these issues so scary? I can only speak for myself. In my judgemental days (any time before I was 30ish) I could not discuss these topics with civility. I could argue them but I could not discuss them because I was not knowledgeable enough. I knew what I believed religion-wise but I did not know why and I was unable to articulate my beliefs well. All I knew politically was I hated our government. Not much has changed in the latter though I am working on it and BOY am I in a good place to work on it. I made huge progress when I was able to say to someone "I don't know." I made enormous progress when I learned to (nothing new here) listen. Not just to hear their point of view but to hear how they reasoned out their beliefs and articulated them.
There are people in my life who I love dearly with whom I cannot have any conversation if we do not agree 100%. So we wind up talking about the weather and food. Part of this is my fault or, more accurately, the fault of my past. I was an unreasonable arguer. I no longer am but they may never know because as soon as an opposing viewpoint surfaces 'My isn't it sunny!'
Why are these issues such hot-button topics? Because they are so important and they are so intensely personal while they are also so vitally public. We are passionate about them because we should be. We need to remember that there are many ways to show passion outside of anger. There are many who say that people who are so angry are really scared. That's probably true some of the time. Try telling someone you disagree with how frightening a situation is to you. This gives them a chance to either comfort you with their reason or realize the gravity of their own views.
Now I'm going to get hypocritical. If we wrote a constructive letter to a congressman for each time we complained about the government we could hold our head higher in any political debate. I, for one, would have huge blisters on my fingers and little time to study. Writing that letter forces us to articulate our opinion and the results can be staggering. If we sought out conversation with a Muslim friend or acquaintance every time we heard someone railing against 'those Muslims' we'd have a much more accurate perspective.
I have entitled this blog "If I can . . ." Please remember why I chose that title. If I can then anyone can. I have told Doug that I am so glad he did not meet me in college. He'd have had no interest in me at all because of how naively and ignorantly close-minded I was. I've come a long way. I think I mentioned this in an earlier post but it's short and worth repeating. I am trying to set my mind for the unknown in Uzbekistan. Part of that is preparing to see our differences as just that - differences, not wrong or right, just different. Now, I don't want to go out into the world accepting everything that lands in my path as just different. Certainly there are wrongs out there and I hope to recognize them. However I believe there are many more differences and many people's reactions tend to be negatively judgemental towards differences.
I haven't travelled alot but I'll share an example of different versus right and wrong. When Doug and I were in India in 2000 I remember standing in a few lines only to be blatantly cut off - even pushed aside by someone who wanted to go ahead of me. I meekly tolerated this a few times. One day, I pushed back. The man then just moved behind me. That was it. In America we would consider it very rude to cut into a line and more rude to push someone. In India they apparently don't think it's a big deal. It's different. No one got hurt. I got miffed, but I got over it and learned how to react. Either wait or push back. Pretty simple.
Not every difference is going to be that simple. Uzbekistan is run by a dictator who has overseen mass killings of those who disagree with him (that's wrong, not different). Uzbekistan is a predominately Muslim country. I hear that to hold religious discussions one must apply for and receive a permit. I realize I need to approach the subject very carefully however to gain their trust and a level of comfort between us. If any of my readers have had any experience living in a different culture, I'd appreciate any advice you may have to offer. I also solicit your prayers. I was close with two Muslim families in Minnesota and, since I've lived here, I've sat through two very interesting lecture/debates on today's issues between our cultures. Here's an interesting item I remember an Imam teaching us. I hope I get this right. Jihad is what we hear the extremests claim against us whenever they blow someone up. As we sat in an auditorium at the Foreign Service Institute, the Imam addressing us said "We're having Jihad right here, right now." Jihad is an exchange. I don't want to misquote anything so I'll quit there. I look at these Muslim extremests as I do Christian extremests who kill abortion doctors. In my opinion they are not behaving in a Christian manner. I hope deeply in my heart that no one judges my Christianity by the actions of some abortion doctor killer.
I'll be in a good position to learn while I'm in Tashkent. As a spouse of a Foreign Service diplomat, I must guard my tongue (thus the solicitation of your prayers). As I understand, I cannot publicly contradict the United States Government. Since I don't know their stance on everything I'll be doing alot of listening and little opining.
If you've ever been on a debate team, you must realize the importance of understanding the opposing side's viewpoint in order to successfully debate them. I encourage all of us to treat our differences like a formal debate: civil, well thought out and courteous. Then if we could just get the nations to follow suit. . .
I'm not saying that if we learn how to peacefully debate politics and relgion around the dinner table that we'll achieve world peace. I am saying that if we here in America cannot sit around the dinner table (or over the backyard fence) and debate politics and religion peacefully then the Israel/Palestine issue will remain unsolved along with Christians' ignorance of Islaam (and the Taliban's and Al Qaeda's ignorance of our hearts and their actions against us).
I guess the place to begin is to realize the importance of being able to discuss these hot-button, important, scary topics. War. That's why. People turn to violence and nations go to war over these issues. That's why we need to learn to discuss them with our neighbor, friends and our mother-in-law.
Why are these issues so scary? I can only speak for myself. In my judgemental days (any time before I was 30ish) I could not discuss these topics with civility. I could argue them but I could not discuss them because I was not knowledgeable enough. I knew what I believed religion-wise but I did not know why and I was unable to articulate my beliefs well. All I knew politically was I hated our government. Not much has changed in the latter though I am working on it and BOY am I in a good place to work on it. I made huge progress when I was able to say to someone "I don't know." I made enormous progress when I learned to (nothing new here) listen. Not just to hear their point of view but to hear how they reasoned out their beliefs and articulated them.
There are people in my life who I love dearly with whom I cannot have any conversation if we do not agree 100%. So we wind up talking about the weather and food. Part of this is my fault or, more accurately, the fault of my past. I was an unreasonable arguer. I no longer am but they may never know because as soon as an opposing viewpoint surfaces 'My isn't it sunny!'
Why are these issues such hot-button topics? Because they are so important and they are so intensely personal while they are also so vitally public. We are passionate about them because we should be. We need to remember that there are many ways to show passion outside of anger. There are many who say that people who are so angry are really scared. That's probably true some of the time. Try telling someone you disagree with how frightening a situation is to you. This gives them a chance to either comfort you with their reason or realize the gravity of their own views.
Now I'm going to get hypocritical. If we wrote a constructive letter to a congressman for each time we complained about the government we could hold our head higher in any political debate. I, for one, would have huge blisters on my fingers and little time to study. Writing that letter forces us to articulate our opinion and the results can be staggering. If we sought out conversation with a Muslim friend or acquaintance every time we heard someone railing against 'those Muslims' we'd have a much more accurate perspective.
I have entitled this blog "If I can . . ." Please remember why I chose that title. If I can then anyone can. I have told Doug that I am so glad he did not meet me in college. He'd have had no interest in me at all because of how naively and ignorantly close-minded I was. I've come a long way. I think I mentioned this in an earlier post but it's short and worth repeating. I am trying to set my mind for the unknown in Uzbekistan. Part of that is preparing to see our differences as just that - differences, not wrong or right, just different. Now, I don't want to go out into the world accepting everything that lands in my path as just different. Certainly there are wrongs out there and I hope to recognize them. However I believe there are many more differences and many people's reactions tend to be negatively judgemental towards differences.
I haven't travelled alot but I'll share an example of different versus right and wrong. When Doug and I were in India in 2000 I remember standing in a few lines only to be blatantly cut off - even pushed aside by someone who wanted to go ahead of me. I meekly tolerated this a few times. One day, I pushed back. The man then just moved behind me. That was it. In America we would consider it very rude to cut into a line and more rude to push someone. In India they apparently don't think it's a big deal. It's different. No one got hurt. I got miffed, but I got over it and learned how to react. Either wait or push back. Pretty simple.
Not every difference is going to be that simple. Uzbekistan is run by a dictator who has overseen mass killings of those who disagree with him (that's wrong, not different). Uzbekistan is a predominately Muslim country. I hear that to hold religious discussions one must apply for and receive a permit. I realize I need to approach the subject very carefully however to gain their trust and a level of comfort between us. If any of my readers have had any experience living in a different culture, I'd appreciate any advice you may have to offer. I also solicit your prayers. I was close with two Muslim families in Minnesota and, since I've lived here, I've sat through two very interesting lecture/debates on today's issues between our cultures. Here's an interesting item I remember an Imam teaching us. I hope I get this right. Jihad is what we hear the extremests claim against us whenever they blow someone up. As we sat in an auditorium at the Foreign Service Institute, the Imam addressing us said "We're having Jihad right here, right now." Jihad is an exchange. I don't want to misquote anything so I'll quit there. I look at these Muslim extremests as I do Christian extremests who kill abortion doctors. In my opinion they are not behaving in a Christian manner. I hope deeply in my heart that no one judges my Christianity by the actions of some abortion doctor killer.
I'll be in a good position to learn while I'm in Tashkent. As a spouse of a Foreign Service diplomat, I must guard my tongue (thus the solicitation of your prayers). As I understand, I cannot publicly contradict the United States Government. Since I don't know their stance on everything I'll be doing alot of listening and little opining.
If you've ever been on a debate team, you must realize the importance of understanding the opposing side's viewpoint in order to successfully debate them. I encourage all of us to treat our differences like a formal debate: civil, well thought out and courteous. Then if we could just get the nations to follow suit. . .
I'm not saying that if we learn how to peacefully debate politics and relgion around the dinner table that we'll achieve world peace. I am saying that if we here in America cannot sit around the dinner table (or over the backyard fence) and debate politics and religion peacefully then the Israel/Palestine issue will remain unsolved along with Christians' ignorance of Islaam (and the Taliban's and Al Qaeda's ignorance of our hearts and their actions against us).
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Your tax dollars at work
When Doug was hired by the State Department and we were put on the government's (read - YOUR payroll) I told you that I was taking that very seriously. So here's an update on how (some of) your money is being spent.
Doug is doing very well in his new job. He worked what is called a bridge assignment after he finished his initial training. He worked in the Bureau of Near East Affairs as the Strategic Planning Officer. Near the end of his five months working there, his boss's boss nominated him for a Meritorious Service Award. He won. He worked very hard for good people who recognize the efforts and successes of others. Needless to say his review from his work at that bureau was glowing.
He has now joined me in full time Russian classes though he is in a higher level class. This is interesting because it is the first time in our lives together that we are doing the same thing. We both work quite hard. Next week Doug will be in an emersion week that takes place at an Army b ase of some sort in Maryland. I'm hoping to use the undistracted time to catch up (if that is possible) in my own studies. Although I am working hard I am weak in understanding the spoken word and very slow at forming sentences. I can rattle off grammar rules and am pretty strong in vocabulary but I do need to be able to communicate!
Our housing is paid for while he is in training. It is not extravagant. (Read my December entry entitles "Our Apartment".) We are given a per diem for food that started higher than it is now and has periodically decreased over the months. I am still buying store brands (the ones I can stomach) and don't eat out much. Some of you may also be happy to know that I no longer (okay very rarely) buy stuff like Spagetti O's and Velveeta shells and cheese. I was cooking like a pro in the first few months. I do not have time to do that but I try to make something good for us once a week. Otherwise we survive on peanut butter and oatmeal (not together - Doug has the peanut butter, I have the oatmeal) for breakfast and turkey sandwiches for lunch. Dinner is always a surprise.
I know you don't need a run down of how we spend our money but I do want you to know that we are very conciencious of how we spend our (your) money.
In other news, you may have read or heard the news of Kyrgyzstan's president was ousted - he escaped to neighboring Kazikstan. This makes the general area in central Asia unsettled. There is talk of whether other countries will follow suit. The people of Uzbekistan tried a peaceful protest. The government's response was to send in the militsia with machine guns to shoot them. They then piled the bodies and burned them. This was in 2005. The same leader is still in office. Folks, we need to learn how to discuss religion and politics without anger being our only reaction to differing opinions. We need to do this now.
The doomsday gang must be having a heyday what with all the earthquakes, changes of leadership and volcano eruption - this following the swine flu epidemic or pandemic or whatever is wound up being. They are probably stocking up on pesticide for the locusts.
Doug is doing very well in his new job. He worked what is called a bridge assignment after he finished his initial training. He worked in the Bureau of Near East Affairs as the Strategic Planning Officer. Near the end of his five months working there, his boss's boss nominated him for a Meritorious Service Award. He won. He worked very hard for good people who recognize the efforts and successes of others. Needless to say his review from his work at that bureau was glowing.
He has now joined me in full time Russian classes though he is in a higher level class. This is interesting because it is the first time in our lives together that we are doing the same thing. We both work quite hard. Next week Doug will be in an emersion week that takes place at an Army b ase of some sort in Maryland. I'm hoping to use the undistracted time to catch up (if that is possible) in my own studies. Although I am working hard I am weak in understanding the spoken word and very slow at forming sentences. I can rattle off grammar rules and am pretty strong in vocabulary but I do need to be able to communicate!
Our housing is paid for while he is in training. It is not extravagant. (Read my December entry entitles "Our Apartment".) We are given a per diem for food that started higher than it is now and has periodically decreased over the months. I am still buying store brands (the ones I can stomach) and don't eat out much. Some of you may also be happy to know that I no longer (okay very rarely) buy stuff like Spagetti O's and Velveeta shells and cheese. I was cooking like a pro in the first few months. I do not have time to do that but I try to make something good for us once a week. Otherwise we survive on peanut butter and oatmeal (not together - Doug has the peanut butter, I have the oatmeal) for breakfast and turkey sandwiches for lunch. Dinner is always a surprise.
I know you don't need a run down of how we spend our money but I do want you to know that we are very conciencious of how we spend our (your) money.
In other news, you may have read or heard the news of Kyrgyzstan's president was ousted - he escaped to neighboring Kazikstan. This makes the general area in central Asia unsettled. There is talk of whether other countries will follow suit. The people of Uzbekistan tried a peaceful protest. The government's response was to send in the militsia with machine guns to shoot them. They then piled the bodies and burned them. This was in 2005. The same leader is still in office. Folks, we need to learn how to discuss religion and politics without anger being our only reaction to differing opinions. We need to do this now.
The doomsday gang must be having a heyday what with all the earthquakes, changes of leadership and volcano eruption - this following the swine flu epidemic or pandemic or whatever is wound up being. They are probably stocking up on pesticide for the locusts.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The power of story
Years ago I started attending the National Storytelling Conferences held in various cities in the U.S. It was life changing. Two other things have impacted my life so intensely - realizing God exists and I can sense that in my life and meeting, loving and being loved by Doug. Pretty dramatic, huh? Well, read on, dear readers -
At the storytelling conferences I heard such a huge variety of stories I was high and excited to learn to tell them. I heard stories that were funny, scary, sad, thought provoking, cautionary, religious, true, impossible and stories I could not categorize. They ranged in length from under a minute to three or so hours long. As I spent that first week in my first storytelling conference, I felt a change happening within me.
Fast forward. It's a few weeks before Easter three or four years ago and Lydia, our priest at St. Anne's Episcopal church, has asked me to deliver the homily one Sunday morning. This was exciting for me because I had a chance to share the power of storytelling with all ages. (People tend to think of stories as being for children.)
So that Sunday morning I stood before our well-read, professional, intelligent congregation and told the story of the Three Little Bears. It was met with several amused, tolerant smiles. When I finished I said the obvious, "I know. You're wondering why I'm telling you the story of the three bears shortly before Easter." I then told them why.
In the story of the three bears, Goldilocks invades their house, helps herself (wrongly) to their food and furniture. When she is caught she runs away. (I'll take a minute to tell you that there are different versions of this story. In one version it is an old woman who enters the bears home. When caught, they grab her and hang her from the church steeple as a warning to others to stay out of other people's homes.) I asked the congregation how they thought Goldilocks felt when she woke up and saw the bears standing around looking at her. "Scared" was their answer. Yes, and why? Because she didn't know the end of the story. She didn't know that she'd jump out the window and run home safe and sound.
I then made my way to my point. "How do you think Christ's diciples felt the day he was executed? How do you think his mother, father and brother felt the day after?" Scared, sad, angry were some of the responses. Yes, and why? Many reasons, of course. But they didn't know the end of the story. They didn't know that Jesus would have his life again not only for a time here on earth but eternally in God'd presence.
Flash back to the first storytelling conference. I found myself looking at everything in my life differently. No exaggeration. Everything. Irritations still upset me but I was able to see them as part of the story of my life. They will pass. Nothing new here - we all know that tomorrow is another day and blah blah maxim, blah cliche. At this time, however, I REALized this. I lived according to the FACT that whatever I was going through (from traffic annoyances to being mugged) would be passed, gone in time. This doesn't mean that I was unaffected. This does not mean that I smiled through it. It does mean that it didn't possess me. (Well, the mugging did, somewhat, that was a hard one.) It means that I knew the page in my story would turn and something else would happen next.
I also realized that I was in a huge part the author of my story and I could make things happen. So, I ask you, what are you going through right now? Financial problems? Illness? Heartbreak? Bad grades? Poor job performance? Try to see this as a chapter in a novel. Yes, it's happening. Yes, it's ugly, or difficult or whatever. Keep turning the pages. Keep moving forward through it looking for the way out and the next chapter. It works and it's powerful.
Do I still get crabby? Yes. Do I still overreact? Yes. This attitude does not fix everything, it makes everything an experience necessary for the story.
I'm ending this more abruptly than I want to but my parents are on their way over and I must study some Russian today, take the self-study take home test and learn about 5,000 words today. So . .
At the storytelling conferences I heard such a huge variety of stories I was high and excited to learn to tell them. I heard stories that were funny, scary, sad, thought provoking, cautionary, religious, true, impossible and stories I could not categorize. They ranged in length from under a minute to three or so hours long. As I spent that first week in my first storytelling conference, I felt a change happening within me.
Fast forward. It's a few weeks before Easter three or four years ago and Lydia, our priest at St. Anne's Episcopal church, has asked me to deliver the homily one Sunday morning. This was exciting for me because I had a chance to share the power of storytelling with all ages. (People tend to think of stories as being for children.)
So that Sunday morning I stood before our well-read, professional, intelligent congregation and told the story of the Three Little Bears. It was met with several amused, tolerant smiles. When I finished I said the obvious, "I know. You're wondering why I'm telling you the story of the three bears shortly before Easter." I then told them why.
In the story of the three bears, Goldilocks invades their house, helps herself (wrongly) to their food and furniture. When she is caught she runs away. (I'll take a minute to tell you that there are different versions of this story. In one version it is an old woman who enters the bears home. When caught, they grab her and hang her from the church steeple as a warning to others to stay out of other people's homes.) I asked the congregation how they thought Goldilocks felt when she woke up and saw the bears standing around looking at her. "Scared" was their answer. Yes, and why? Because she didn't know the end of the story. She didn't know that she'd jump out the window and run home safe and sound.
I then made my way to my point. "How do you think Christ's diciples felt the day he was executed? How do you think his mother, father and brother felt the day after?" Scared, sad, angry were some of the responses. Yes, and why? Many reasons, of course. But they didn't know the end of the story. They didn't know that Jesus would have his life again not only for a time here on earth but eternally in God'd presence.
Flash back to the first storytelling conference. I found myself looking at everything in my life differently. No exaggeration. Everything. Irritations still upset me but I was able to see them as part of the story of my life. They will pass. Nothing new here - we all know that tomorrow is another day and blah blah maxim, blah cliche. At this time, however, I REALized this. I lived according to the FACT that whatever I was going through (from traffic annoyances to being mugged) would be passed, gone in time. This doesn't mean that I was unaffected. This does not mean that I smiled through it. It does mean that it didn't possess me. (Well, the mugging did, somewhat, that was a hard one.) It means that I knew the page in my story would turn and something else would happen next.
I also realized that I was in a huge part the author of my story and I could make things happen. So, I ask you, what are you going through right now? Financial problems? Illness? Heartbreak? Bad grades? Poor job performance? Try to see this as a chapter in a novel. Yes, it's happening. Yes, it's ugly, or difficult or whatever. Keep turning the pages. Keep moving forward through it looking for the way out and the next chapter. It works and it's powerful.
Do I still get crabby? Yes. Do I still overreact? Yes. This attitude does not fix everything, it makes everything an experience necessary for the story.
I'm ending this more abruptly than I want to but my parents are on their way over and I must study some Russian today, take the self-study take home test and learn about 5,000 words today. So . .
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