Allow me to introduce Lulu

I haven’t written about my neighbor Lulu yet. I think that’s because if I write about her, I must think about her intently and that makes me miss her. I met Lulu, whose given name is Josephine, when I was about 40 and she was about five. She would come across the street (at the direction of an older brother or her mom) when she’d see me out working in the yard. She always wore Red cowboy boots which both she and her mom, Kathy, swore she never owned, but in which I can clearly see her. Sometimes I was delighted to have Lulu visit and chat with me while I weeded, raked, and planted, other times I was in one of my Marlene Dietrich moods and just wanted to be alone. Sometimes I would be working and barely hear a soft voice say “Hi, Laura.” Sometimes I’m sure she’d say it several times before it registered to me that I was hearing someone for real. It was so soft. I’d wave or call “Hi” back to her. She’d then proceed to talk to me in that same soft voice. I had no idea what she was saying. Occasionally I’d cross the street to find out; other times I’d just cast a well timed smile her direction. She liked to ask questions. I can remember her watch me answer them as though it wasn’t the answer she was after, just conversation. It was never annoying.

As Lulu grew older, she started asking genuine questions to which she wanted answers and what impressed me was how thought out her questions were and how she remembered the answers. Lulu is a thinker who pays attention to what is going on around her. What she lacked in fashion sense those days she made up for in smarts. Doug and I used to look forward to watching across the street to see what Lulu was wearing that day. I wish I had kept a log because, unfortunately, I haven’t the memory Lulu has. I do remember a frilly, fancy nightgown sort of thing she wore as she rode a skateboard or scooter. And she always had those mythical red cowboy boots on until they no longer fit her.

At a certain age she’d see our light on late at night and call. This would amaze me because I had piano students older than her who would not come to the phone if I called them. We’d talk and look out our front windows and wave at each other. I miss that. She went through a short stage where, I swear, she was watching our house and when I came home from teaching or if I was in sight in the yard she came right over to visit. I really like my alone time and this was difficult for me. I liked Lulu. She completely won me over when she started bringing over books to practice her reading. We’d sit together on the loveseat and she’d point and read very slowly. I love those memories. We read to each other for years. Reading to each other is something Doug and I have always done. I think that’s rare and valuable. I don’t remember all the books that she brought over except Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House books and the Twilight series. After that, we came to an agreement with her visits: If she rang the bell twice and I did not answer, I was busy and would not answer. Her mom, I think, coached her to ask me if it was a good time for a visit when she came over. She did this faithfully. Another trait I admire in Lulu is, when it was not convenient, she never tried to talk her way in. While definitely a little girl, she showed maturity. I eventually started to call to see if she wanted to come over and I’d visit her and her family.

As the move got nearer Doug and I got busier and Lulu still wanted to visit. Don’t think for a minute that I didn’t want the visits, I just had a lot to do. I am easily distracted and adding any variables to the mix meant I didn’t get as much done. So I started a Lulu Do list. Because she was willing to do absolutely anything all sorts of things went on this list: tear down these boxes for recycling, find all the candles in the house and put them in this pile, put these magazines in chronological order, etc. Sometimes I didn’t have anything for her to do so she’d bring over her clarinet and play for me. She was also learning some pieces on the piano from me so she’d sit and practice while I worked. True friendship is when you can be anything your friend needs. That’s what we had.

I held my breath every time I sent Lulu home those days because I usually sent her home with something that was too special to give away but I didn’t want to keep. I was afraid Kathy would say “Enough!” She didn’t. Lulu got books including my old Bible (the one with the hand tooled leather cover my father made for me), my keyboard (in hopes she’d keep playing), a pile of board games and food from our cupboard that couldn’t practically go with us and which we couldn’t give to just anyone. I offered her a dress I no longer wore but she declined. That was another defining moment for Lulu. As a child, I don’t know if I could have said no to something offered to me. I would have felt too uncomfortable. The dress I offered her was pink based and flowery. Not Lulu. Too froo-frooey. I was wondering if she’d be one of those girls who never wore dresses, but that is not the case. Read on.

We decided to have a concert so we practiced some duets and solo pieces on piano and clarinet. We made up a program, set a date and time, invited people and practiced and practiced. We set up our dining room as a recital hall, passed out programs and performed. I don’t remember what I wore but Lulu had on a purple paisley (if I remember correctly) dress with spaghetti straps and a jagged hem and strappy heeled sandals. My little pinky flowered dress was clearly not sophisticated enough for Lulu.

The young people in my life made such a huge impact on me. I loved our lesson time but I also looked forward to the more relaxed time we shared outside of lessons. The parties. Many of my piano students have met Lulu at our annual Halloween party. There was one year that she wanted to come to the party. I said no. It was just for piano students. The next year she helped me decorate for it. As we were decorating a mini van pulled up. One of my families (with four kids) was an hour early. I was not dressed. The house was not totally ready. AAAAHH! We greeted each other and laughed at the error in time and the mother asked if she could help. I stuttered not knowing what to ask of her. Lulu made a suggestion and off they went. I went upstairs to dress. By the time I came back down they had everything ready. The mother said something to the effect of “I just did what she told me to do.” Lulu stayed and partied with us that night.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t remember my students. I still am on the lookout for this year’s Christmas gift. Habits. As I face the difficulties in personal discipline, I remember how I advised you and that moves me into action. (In other words, some of you will delight to know – my words have come back to bite me.) I started to learn the Russian alphabet last week. I had 33 index cards with a letter on each. I used the same games I taught you when you were learning to say your musical alphabet backwards, say it in thirds (skips) etc. I had the alphabet down in about three days. Dang! I was a good teacher!