Limitations and Freedoms

I had a piano/composition teacher in Phoenix who told me one lesson that, "Through our greatest limitations can be found our greatest freedoms." That seemed incredibly oxymoronic to me. He told me this just before assigning a 12-tone table and composition to me. I'll briefly explain 12-tone to those who are not familiar with it. Within one octave of our scale there are 12 tones: C, C#, D, D#, E, F ,F#, G, G#, A, A# and B. To compose in 12-tone you must use all 12 tones before returning to a tone. The result is an atonal sound. The act of composing was not completely new to me but, in my past, I had only occasionally been inspired to write or found a melody resounding in my head which I would transcribe. Being assigned a composition meant that that week I must write something. Pressure. He greatly calmed me by telling me how much freedom I had with all the 12-tone rules. Imagine, he said, my telling you to use these 88 keys and write a song. That would be overwhelming. But when I tell you that you must follow these rules that gives you a starting pointas well as guidance as you compose. You cannot just choose any note to write next, you are limited. But while total freedom can be exhilerating, it can also be stifling. I have often sat at the piano to write or improvise and been so overwhelmed with the 88 keys that I just sit there picking around. But when I choose a scale to base my piece on then the music comes more fluidly.

I share this because my parents and Doug's parents are going through typical old age sufferings these days. It's difficult to know what they are going through. It's difficult to not be with them and, therefore, be more supportive. For Christmas, Doug and I gave his parents colored clay. Why? Because, while his father's eyes and ears are failing him, his mind and hands are sharp and well functioning. The idea was to focus on what you can do and broaden those horizons. And have some fun.

My mother has painful arthritis and moving around is difficult and dangerous sometimes. She knits and crochets which is good. I've been encouraging her to write more. I should encourage Gordon (Doug's dad) to share memories in the oral tradition into a digital recorder. There is a lot of life in these people that we don't know about.

So my question to you, dear readers, is what are your limitations? Can you find freedom in them?

Is one of your limitations financial? Those of you who have attended any of the piano gatherings know what fun can be had for very little money. For the mere cost of showing up and maybe bringing some food to share we have entertained each other for hours. I like that better than turning to strangers on the television.

Is one of your limitations your job? Or do you feel limited because you are still in school? Can you take your job new directions? Can you rise to the next level? Can you get something going on the side like special studies or an art practice?

To my teen readers, do you feel limited by living at home? The freedoms you have include the fact that you can save your money or spend it as you like and you have relatively few responsibilities - you don't have to provide for yourself, for instance.

Without realizing it, I took advantage of my limitations of moving to Falls Church. My limitations included my being among strangers, not knowing my way around and not working while awaiting Doug's first paycheck which took about 30 days. I wasn't stuck in the apartment but my great dislike of driving was a limitation that did keep me here alot. As many of you know, I spent alot of time caring for myself and writing both of which I only did sporadically in St. Paul. I brought only three or four books with me so I actually finished . . . er . . . no I didn't. I went to the library and distracted myself with more books. Well it was a well intended act on my part.

To the extreme, how many people have at in prisons and changed the world? The Apostle Paul, Nelson Mandela, Thoreau and one of my favorite writers, O'Henry.

I wonder what will come out of Haiti as we sit here and whine that we don't have enough money to buy this or go there. I wonder who will be able to arise from that distress and make a difference in the world while we sit here and complain about our job or our teacher. I mentioned in an earlier post that I look at disasters like the tsunami that hit Indonesia and realize how strong and resilient and capable we humans are. We all must remember we are just as strong and resilient and capable in our own homes as we are facing dramatic situations like those we, thank God, only read about.